Better Text Language Blog

Yes Nurse, No Nurse

2010-08-16T04:21:00.000-07:00

Yes, now everyone can sing along with Sister Clivia and the gang! That means you English speaker!

Why translate songs from the 2002 musical film Yes Nurse, No Nurse into English? For starters, it's an awesome topic for an MA thesis. On a more serious note, it gave me the chance to explore the influence that audience expectations have on the process of translation. You see, the constraints that audience expectations impose on anyone working from one language to another is something that I deal with on a daily basis as an English translator and copywriter working in the Netherlands.

BUT, don't let me bore you with that. Just go ahead and sing along with the fellas in Club Roman Holiday.

Check the Dutch version of this site for translations and original language texts.

Hall of Shame: 5 Examples of Bad Ad Copy

2010-08-03T11:29:00.000-07:00

These marketing blunders are just a few examples of what can go wrong when organizations don’t consult a native-speaking professional when preparing advertising copy. The examples might be funny to us now, but they certainly weren’t funny to the offended recipients of the messages and subsequently to the organizations that produced them, losing face or business in the process.

1.    Shame on you KPN! Write a decent airport billboard ad simply and easily!

There are many things wrong with the ad pictured above apart from the writer’s failure to use adverbs in the headline:

-    What is the difference between doing something simply and easily anyway? Perhaps “quickly” would have been a good substitute
-    The sub-heading is baffling – shouldn’t it read laptop?
-    The sub-heading uses the Dutch convention of adding a comma dash behind round numbers. English convention is to write either €3 or €3.00.
-    The call to action sentence has a missing link. It should read “To purchase…”
-    Writing “top button” is very vague. What does the button say?
-    Lastly, the actual product is not named anywhere in the ad

Not being able to help myself, I’ve rewritten the ad: “Get online quickly and easily. Connect to KPN Hotspots from just €3. / OR / Internet access on the go from just €3. To buy time online using your credit card, just click the top “Get Online” link”.

2.     How would you feel if you were Hispanic and lived in this U.S. town?

Sometimes, non-native speakers disregard the important typographical conventions of a foreign language. For instance, one town in the U.S. had a bilingual banner printed in honour of its centennial anniversary. The banner celebrated 100 anos of municipal history. Unfortunately, while año is the word for year, ano is the word for anus.

3. Always Coca-Cola, or always a “female horse stuffed with wax”?

The name Coca-Cola in China was first rendered in characters roughly approximate to ke-ke-ken-la. The Coke Company spent thousands on printed signs before they realised that, depending on the dialect, this phrase can either mean “bite the wax tadpole” or “female horse stuffed with wax”. Finally, after researching 40,000 Chinese characters, Coke found the following close phonetic equivalent, ko-kou-ko-le, which can be loosely translated as “happiness in the mouth”. I’ll have one of those please.

4. What not to do when going global: baffle your audience
In 2000, French sandwich chain Lina’s launched an international campaign to attract foreign franchisees. Unfortunately, the slogan they used was written by a self-proclaimed bilingual employee. The result does not make any sense in the English language: “Tomorrow, we will expect on your dynamism”. The company didn’t receive a single response to this campaign.

5. Double your disastrous slogan and “Touch Woody - The Internet Pecker”
For those of you unfamiliar with U.S. slang, this phrase combines two words used to refer to the male member in a most unfortunate way. Luckily for Panasonic, the product launch running this slogan was stopped just in time. It was to be used in a campaign promoting a Japanese web browser developed by Panasonic for Matsushita Electric, employing the cartoon character “Woody Woodpecker” as an internet guide.

10 Hot Tips for Writing Better English for Non-Natives

2010-08-03T10:34:00.000-07:00

We all need to communicate in a foreign language at times. Although respecting the rules and writing conventions of that language makes a better impression on the reader, it might not always come naturally to us as writers. For that reason, I’ve prepared a quick list of points to remember when writing in English. Although these are good tips for quick and non-formal communication, please have your more professional or publishable texts written or checked by a native English-speaking language professional.

1. Put the reader first: In English, good writing requires constant effort on the part of the writer to think from the reader’s perspective. Don’t assume the reader knows what you mean. Instead, make it easy for the reader to follow your train of thought and understand your message. After all, communicating your message to your reader is the whole point.

2. Structure your message: How easy a text is to read depends a lot on a writer’s ability to structure their message. What do I mean by structure? I mean introduce – state –explain – conclude, just as I did in the bullet-point above.

- First, introduce the topic (in the example above = “Put the reader first”)
- Then, state your main message (= “write from the reader’s perspective”)
- Follow this up by explaining the reasoning behind your message (= “Don’t assume…make it easy…”)
- Finally, conclude by summing up or telling the reader what to do next
(= “communicating the message is the whole point”)

Ideally, this structure should be applied to the text as a whole, but should also be present at paragraph level.

What not to do: Don’t jump into a lot of detail right away. Conversely, don’t spend too much time on very general ideas – get to the point.

3. Say no to the alinea - put it in a paragraph: A paragraph in English indicates a single topic, which ideally represents a microcosm of the introduce/state – explain – conclude structure.

What not to do: present a tekstblok with an alinea, for example:

What is the difference between Dutch and English paragraphing techniques? English writing is not structured into tekstblokken and subdivided into alineas. When confronted with this layout, English readers are left wondering whether a new topic is being introduced or not.
To a Dutch reader, the connection is clearly indicated on the page, even if the writer does not explicitly make the connection with words. However, to an English reader, it appears as sloppy writing. In that case, the writer can not rely on layout to convey what information belongs to which topic, but should make the connection explicit by using linking words.

What to do: either indent to indicate the beginning of a paragraph or add a space between paragraphs and begin flush left. I’m partial to indenting, such as:

What is the difference between Dutch and English paragraphing techniques? English writing is not structured into tekstblokken and subdivided into alineas. When confronted with this layout, English readers are left wondering whether a new topic is being introduced or not. To a Dutch reader, the connection is clearly indicated on the page, even if the writer does not explicitly make the connection with words. However, to an English reader, it appears as sloppy writing. In that case, the writer can not rely on layout to convey what information belongs to which topic, but should make the connection explicit by using linking words.

4. When writing a letter – get to the point: State your purpose at the beginning. Writing a lengthy introduction and stating your request at the end of a letter only serves to irritate your English-speaking reader. In addition, it is not the least bit rude to start your letter with “I”. In fact, you can’t go wrong with “I am writing to you regarding…/ I am writing to you in response to our conversation of [date]…” I find it best to end the sentence by referring to the general topic and then stating my purpose in the second sentence. If necessary, an explanation can follow. Your reader will be grateful that you were so considerate – after all, no one likes to waste time reading long-winded business letters.

5. Use upper case letters in a title: such as “10 Hot Tips to Writing Better English for Non-Natives”. Here are the general rules:

- Capitalize: the first and last word in the title, nouns, pronouns, verbs, adverbs, adjectives, subordinating conjunctions (for example: before, after, when...), hyphenated compound words and the first word following a colon,
- Do not capitalize: articles (a, an, the), coordinating conjunctions (and, but, or, nor, so), the word “to” when it precedes a verb and prepositions with fewer than five letters,
- What about headings? It depends on whether you choose U.K. or U.S. English. When in doubt, choose a reliable style guide and apply its recommendations consistently throughout your text.

6. An apostrophe does not indicate the plural form: Do not add an apostrophe when forming the plural of ANY word, regardless of whether it ends in a vowel or not. The plural form of banana in English is not banana’s. An apostrophe indicates possession only.

7. When writing amounts of money in numerals: use a period instead of a comma as a decimal separator, do not add a space between the currency symbol and do not use “,-” to refer to round amounts. For example:

What not to do:
€ 30,50 OR € 30,-

What to do:
€30.50
€30.00 OR €30

8. Do not refer to inanimate objects as he or she: inanimate nouns in English do not have a gender. In addition, “it” does not always offer the best substitute, especially in more formal writing. In these cases, it is best to repeat the subject. Of course, this is a tricky business and it’s often best to have your text checked by a native speaker.

9. Sentence fragments – or why every sentence needs a verb: In the vast majority of text types, sentence fragments are a major error when writing in English and should be avoided at all costs. This seems to differ from Dutch usage, where readers aren’t easily surprised by fragments, even in very formal texts. The only exception to this rule is advertising copy. But even then, fragments must be skilfully applied, or the result can be unprofessional and obnoxious. Of course, ad copy is an area that should never ever be written by a non-native speaker in any language. See my entry entitled “Hall of Shame: Examples of Bad Ad Copy”.

10. Choose your English: In most cases, you’ll need to choose between American and British English and then select your words accordingly. Also, running MS Word’s spell-checker in your chosen variant won’t hurt. However, when you really need to get it right, ask a native speaker of that variant to check your text. If your regular language service provider is native in one or the other variant, they should use a native proof-reader to catch any gaps in their knowledge.

In my experience, the ten tips listed above represent the most common mistakes that Dutch speakers make when writing in English. And now that you know them, you can avoid them in quick and non-formal communication. For all other professional communication, whether a brochure, website or even simply an email, using the services of a native English-speaking language professional can make all the difference to your business image and, ultimately, your bottom line.